Some individuals believe that being a gentleman is an archaic and outdated concept. Others believe being a gentleman is a concept that is not only necessary in today’s society, but believe if you don’t pull out a chair for a woman when she’s ready to sit down at the dinner table, you might as well live under a rock.
In today’s society, being a modern gentleman means taking these two views and finding a middle ground.
No man today is going to take off his tweed jacket and lay it over a puddle in the street for a woman to walk on, but that doesn’t mean men, including you, can’t take steps to rise above the normal expectations and stand out.
How to Be a Gentleman
- The First Impression- A first impression not only has to do with how you look, (did you forget to iron your new suit’s trousers?) but also how you present yourself. Making eye contact when shaking hands, introducing yourself in a polite and clear way, and acting your age is just as essential.
- Hygiene- There’s no reason why you should ever walk out of the house without taking into consideration basic hygiene. While you might have made the best first impression, failing to apply deodorant, shower daily, apply the proper amount of cologne, use a hair brush, clean your men’s tweed jacket or suits. and keep your nails trim can completely ruin that impression and every one you try to make afterwards.
- Be Honest- In any type of relationship, it is always important to be truthful and honest with the other person. Lying is unfair and unbecoming of a gentleman, and it could ruin the relationships you are trying so hard to build.
- Be Aware of Context- When out socially with co-workers, friends, or even on a date, the context of the event will determine how you act. If you are sitting at a charity event in fashionable men’s suits and paying £5,000 a plate, drinking combatively isn’t the best idea. However, if you are at the bar with friends and everyone is singing off-key to Journey, why not join them? Being a gentleman in today’s world doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy yourself; it means understanding and accepting when it is appropriate to cut loose and when it isn’t.
- Let Others Be the Centre of Attention- In any type of social setting, there will be a mixture of different personalities, from wallflowers to social butterflies, present. Understanding how to approach and speak to each of these personalities is an important part of being a gentleman. Don’t overpower those that are quiet or belittle someone who loves to talk by pretending to listen. Engage with each one and make them feel as if they are the centre of the world throughout the conversation, no matter how long it lasts.
- Watch The Language- In the right setting and with the right context, there’s nothing wrong with a few swear words, and cursing will not make you any less gentlemanly. However, there is a time and a place for these words, and knowing when is the mark of a true gentleman.
- Entering the Cab First- When out on the town with a woman, there are certain traditional gentlemanly gestures that still hold true, such as opening the door for her, offering to help her with her coat, and walking on the outside of the sidewalk. If you don’t own your own car and are taking a cab around town for the date, there is another gentlemanly rule every man should be aware of as well: always get in the cab first. Think about it for just a moment. You are wearing men’s suits or trousers and a men’s tweed jacket; sliding across the seat isn’t a big deal for you. If she’s in a dress or a skirt, though, it can be a big problem for her. It’s much easier for her to climb in last.
Are you a gentleman? If your manners need and update, or you simply don’t know how to be a gentleman, consider these tips. Wearing the right men’s suits or tweed jacket, making a great first impression, and understanding the context of each situation can go a long way in ensuring you act like a gentleman.